First Steps (4)

Struggle. Love. Cry. Hope.

For Romanian click here.

A novel first published in Romanian (Eikon 2017), available in English (translated by Mihaela Alecu) on Amazon (click on the image).

Here you can read in on free, so don’t forget to Follow my blog to stay updated with all episodes.


Few years ago, Amanda was close to take on a wrong path.

Amanda’s father was an alcoholic, he was more drunk than sober, and her mother would rather take on lovers than spend time with him. Therefore Amanda’s parents would fight every time they met. And this was reflected in how they took care of their daughter, more exactly, in how they didn’t take care of her.

In the fourth grade Amanda had ganged up with some boys and girls from the neighborhood, they were all older than her; they too were coming from families with problems. Some were even miniature delinquents, whereas others had smaller behavioral issues. They were all smoking, so Amanda learned too. Coarse language was a habit, they would swear at every other two or three words, so Amanda did too. Anyone else could easily see that Amanda had taken a wrong path.

She got annoyed when one evening her mother came home, shouting that she had had enough, and she started packing her stuff and Amanda’s.

“We are leaving!” Amanda’s mother was shouting.

“What?!” said Amanda already irritated. “I don’t want to move!”

“Yes you will! I don’t care if you want to or not, we won’t stay another second in this dammed place!”

“But all my friends are here–”

“Give me a break, how can you call those hooligans friends? You should thank me that I am taking you out of this damp!”

“What should I thank you for? I haven’t seen you again! for days!”

Amanda started crying.

“Now, suddenly, you started to care?”

Amanda’s mother stopped screaming. She looked at her daughter with regret, but instead of taking her in her arms, she said to her:

“Better later, than never. I’m sorry, but your father is driving me crazy–”

“It’s not my fault!”

“Of course it is not, dear. Please, let’s go before he comes back. He’ll get mad; he will become violent again… We’ll talk about it later… I promise. You’ll see, it’s going to be alright.”

Amanda doubted it was going to be alright, but one thing was sure, her mother loved her, even if she did not know how to show it. She wasn’t at all happy that she was leaving, but she thought that she didn’t have any other option. Staying with her drunken father was not a real option, and to leave on the streets, although free, she was afraid of what might happen to her. Deep down inside she knew that her entourage wasn’t healthy, although she didn’t had the strength to admit it.

Luckily, her mother chose Brașov, and Amanda met Ana at school, with whom she became instant friends. Her life did indeed change to good. Even though her mother had taken two jobs to be able to pay rent and to provide for the family, she was more collected and she tried to get close to her daughter as much as she could. And the latter felt her mother’s love, she started to appreciate the sacrifices she made and to correct her behavior, moreover she felt accepted, almost adopted by Ana’s family, her new family.

At first, Amanda’s mother didn’t get a good feeling about the fact that Amanda was spending so much time with Ana, but in the end she realized that Amanda was happy, even more so, that this environment was helping her to get on the right track and to correct her behavior. And for this she could only be grateful, therefore she gave up any negative thoughts.

She only regretted when she came back from work at night and Amanda wasn’t there, but she hopped that in the future things would get even better. And on the other hand, she could understand her: what could that girl do, by herself all that time? Anyway, when she came back home she was so tired that she couldn’t find the strength to do anything, let alone spend time with Amanda. She would drop on the bed, exhausted and she would fell asleep almost instantaneously, not without casting one last thought towards her daughter “Maybe I will not lose her!” she would think and fall asleep.


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Published by dorin

Full time husband and father; full time writer; full time artist (#fineartphotography). And in the free time, I like to travel, to read and to learn new stuff.

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